If you are still listening to this, heed my advice
by Skarrow
Summary: Once upon a time, the Celadon City Game Corner's basement was not yet the Rocket HQ we knew it to be, and numerous grunts were forced to brave those dark underground tunnels and capture the mysterious pokemon that impeded their operations. Only Archer (and Arianna) survived, and was promptly promoted to Admin status. These are his audio logs. (Challenge hosted by PokeManiacs)


**A/N:** I do not own pokemon or any of its characters. This is a oneshot written for the Pokemaniacs weekly prompt challenge! It's the result of about an hour of on-the-spot writing, so forgive my typos and awkward sentences. I thought this would also make a pretty good Halloween-themed story.

Join PokeManiacs! It's a relatively new pokemon forum and membership is free. We talk about lots of things, pokemon fanfiction included!

link is :

w11 . zetaboards PokeManiacs / index / (remove the all the spaces)

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><p><strong>If you are still listening to this, heed my advice<strong>

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><p><span>Audio log #1<span>

_Hello? Is this recording?_

_My name is Archer._

_If you are hearing this, that means you are a hopeful fledgling who has been given the unenviable task of finding and capturing Target X just like me. Or perhaps you are an intruder who wishes to uncover the secrets of our glorious organization. It matters not. Perhaps you don't want to listen to what I have to say. That's fine as well._

_But if you must remember one thing, heed this:_

_This is Target X's territory, and you are an intruder._

_...Giovanni is a great man. I admire his genius and support him in all of his endeavors, and I always will. So I foolishly accepted this assignment, hoping it would increase my favor in his eyes. I-I've made a terrible mistake. Right now all I feel for the man is fear. He convinced me to undertake this suicide mission, knowing full well what I would be forced to deal with!_

_I've already made contact with Target X, and it... it did unspeakable things to my chest area. But I've broken free!_

_I, I'm so scared and alone._

_I must shoulder on, and find a way to complete my mission!_

_...Oh God, it's coming!_

_It's found me and it's coming after me again!_

_Why am I standing here making an audio log?!_

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><p><span>Audio log #2<span>

_My name is Archer, and it's day two of my expedition into the deep entrenches of the Celadon city Game Corner's basement._

_I'm starting to get hungry, but I still haven't given up this suicide operation._

_I shall search for food while conducting my investigation into Target X's habits and movements._

_I... I am finally beginning to understand why this pokemon was given a codename._

_It isn't a pokemon._

_It just can't be._

_It's a monster... a dangerous monster that will strike when you least expect it, and is fully capable of rendering any of your defenses useless, no matter what kind of physical or mental preparation you've done. And it won't hesitate to attempt to take complete control over you._

_If you are still listening to this, heed my advice:_

_If you come into contact with it, RUN._

_Don't try anything foolish. Don't try to challenge it with your own pokemon, either._

_Five of my pokemon - my highly trained pokemon - were utterly defeated in a single row._

_I know it sounds hard to believe but please consider it._

_Consider it, ponder over it while you still have the luxury to do so. Because the truth-_

_-you can't handle the truth._

_...I ...I can still hear my Koffing's shrill cries of horror as it was taken down._

_It's ringing in my ears. Ringing... ringing..._

_Wait, sorry that was the telephone just now._

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><p><span>Audio log #3<span>

_It's been three days since Giovanni last kicked me down into the Game Corner's basement to complete this incredibly important operation._

_The telephone used by the hospitalized construction workers rings incessantly, but when I answer it all I can hear is static. I've already given up on trying to contact the outside world. There won't be any backup for me, either. It's just me, Archer, and that blasted Target X._

_I've also looked everywhere I could but I can't find anything to eat, or a clue to help me capture Target X._

_Just more audio logs. They're everywhere!_

_For some reason I listen to every minute of every one of them, thinking there'd be some useful information, but-_

_It's like they're just filler! Useless filler!_

_It's filler that drives me to madness!_

_How many Rocket grunts have explored these twisting paths and turns only to be forsaken? What have I gotten myself into? What am I even fighting for?_

_...Huh?! What was that?! Oh, it was just my reflection._

_My name is Archer. I don't care if you are friend or foe. If you are still listening to this, heed my advice:_

_Never forget to pack extra snacks with you to eat when going on a mission. You never know when you'll be regretting ever not bringing that last box of Rice Crispies with you. Or that leftover packet of Oreos._

_Everytime I close my eyes, I can see the mini fridge in my apartment... all those snacks I forgot to put away in my haste to achieve greatness..._

_...My God, I left the cake from Petrel's Halloween party out, too! And now it's ruined! Ruined!_

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><p><span>Audio log #4<span>

_Day seven... I lost Houndoom about an hour ago to Target X, but I did manage to find one audio log that was mildly interesting._

_Some woman named Arianna who had been sent down here by Giovanni before I did left an audio log about how she'd hidden something important inside one of the Persian shaped security statues, and that the two security codes needed to disable the encryption were SlowpokeTail and RaticateTail._

_That was pretty cool because I didn't know the codes beforehand. I didn't even know you could hide things inside these creepy statues!_

_The problem was, she didn't mention which statue in particular I needed to search. There are dozens of them lined up along these walls, it kind of reminds me of those interior design plans I saw on the Boss' desk. He must really like Persians._

_But after several hours I finally found the correct statue! Except that inside was yet another audio log of hers that I didn't really need._

_My name is Archer. If you are still listening to this, heed my advice:_

_Sometimes, things like this happen. So you gotta let all your anger and despair loose by breaking as many Persian statues as possible. Maybe even set up a life-sized pinball machine if you have a lot of time on your hands and you want to forget that you were ever violated by Target X, like me._

_...Oh God, what if Giovanni finds out I was the one who broke the statues? I need to hide this recording where nobody can find it!_

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><p><span>Audio log #5<span>

_Success! I've finally discovered something in these dusty shipment crates that could be food! It- it looks like some kind of... glowing yellow goo. I'm going to have to try a little bit of it!_

_H-hey, it's not so bad! It's a little salty and warm, but when it melts in your mouth it's a little bland. It could use some- some-_

_-Oh God, w-what was that?!_

_Oh God, it's here! It's staring right at me! Target X is staring right at me!_

_This... this is it's food, isn't it?! No! I-I-I never meant to eat your precious yellow goo!_

_I-I don't have any pokemon left! I-I-I-I don't-_

_I don't-_

_W-wait, what's happening to me?! What's-_

_AAARRRRRRGGGHHH! NOOOOOO! AAARRRRRRGGGHHH! _ AAARRRR-_  
><em>

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><p>Proton slammed his hand down on the device in shock, abruptly cutting off the recorded message. Whoever said it was a good idea to listen to every minute of every single one of those apocalyptic logs his superior had left lying around down here?<p>

Contrary to Archer's claims, Proton had yet to come across this mysterious Target X in the abandoned Celadon Rocket HQ, which Archer himself had tasked him to capture. Did such a pokemon truly exist, and was it really still roaming around free down here? Wouldn't it have long died by now from lack of oxygen or something? Unless it was a ghost-type pokemon. But Archer and even Arianna had empathetically denied this creature to be a ghost-type...

Well, he learned one thing from these crazy audio logs: avoid the yellow stuff at all costs.

Proton sighed in annoyance. "I give up, there nothing down here anyways. Who cares about a paid trip to the beach? I'll just blow off some steam at that new Voltorb Flip place and-"

Suddenly, a spiky-eared pichu jumped out of the darkness, launching its cute and tiny body into his arms.

"The hell?"

Proton was about to smack it away from his person in disgust when the pichu turned to look at him with those big, clear, innocent brown eyes and-

_"AAARRRRRRGGGHHH! NOOOOOO! AAARRRRRRGGGHHH!_"

Proton's screams echoed all throughout the empty abandoned Rocket Base.

Seconds later, he slumped to the floor, unconscious.

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><p><span><strong>THE END<strong>


End file.
